Unrequited Love
by ElaHolmes
Summary: The story started as a small imagine, and then unfold as a ff. 13 chapters or more are expected. The main character is an invented one. Ariane is desperately in love with Grantaire, who only sees his Apollo. Drama ensues.
1. Chapter 1

"Love triangles are the worst thing ever", you tell yourself for the 828272 times. As if you could help it. You've been in love with Grantaire for years now, but all he sees is "the great leader". Yes, Enjolras. You've come to wanna punch this beautiful marble for the way he makes R suffer.  
This night is not different from the other nights at the Café Musain. Enjolras left without paying attention to Grantaire who passed out from too much alcohol, trying to forget is unrequited love. And who's there at the end of the night to help him? Yourself of course!

You take him under his armpits to make him stand up and puts his arms around your shoulder. He's still conscious for once, good news.  
You 're walking in the street very slowly, because he's heavy...but also because, without admiring it, these moments are the only one you can get close to him.

Finally, you reach his flat and lean him against the wall to find his keys. Doing this, your face comes very close to his and you froze. At that point, you have to bit your lips not to kiss his. He has such a gorgeous mouth, and you don't even care if he's drunk or not, you just want to taste it. You're already closer when he whispers "Enjolras..." Your heart seems to fall into your chest as you step back quickly.  
The reminder is harsh, and you can feel your eyes filling with tears. You take Grantaire upstairs, and run away from his flat, not able to be close to him anymore.  
"Tomorrow" you say to yourself "Tomorrow it will all be different...Right?"


	2. Chapter 2

"GRANTAIRE, FOR THE SAKE OF FRANCE, IF YOU'RE NOT INTERESTED, JUST LEAVE". Everyone jump on their seats at Enjolras's sudden rant.  
Grantaire shuts up, shock showing on his face, quickly replaced by immense sadness. He gets up and leaves the room, unsteady. Even Enjolras realizes the roughness of his scolding and try a "Grantaire, no, please stay..." But it's too late, the man is already gone.

You witnessed the entire scene, and again, can't help but feel bitter about Enjolras. France before pants okay, but couldn't he show some compassion for Grantaire now and then? You know how the evening is gonna end, and it makes you sick in your stomach.

As soon as your shift is done, you run out and begin to look for him in the streets. Because you know that's where he will be, too drunk to come home, too lost to even know where he is. And it's your job to find him. You're still wondering WHY, and how all of this will end, but you just can't stop.  
After two hours of relentless search in the dark night, you find him, almost passed out in a small alley. "Oh god Grantaire..."

You get him up and almost carry him at his place. He throws up in the bathroom, and you help him getting cleaned up and lay him down on the bed. His eyes are closed and he doesn't move while you remove his hat, shoes and shirt.  
You're about to leave when you feel his hand taking yours "don't...don't leave me...please...I don't want to be alone tonight..."  
Your stomach clenches at these words but you comply. You take off your jacket and shoes and seat on the bed next to him. He stays still for a while, but then you see his breathing quickening and notice silent tears running down. You're paralyzed, dying to help him but unsure of how much you can take without breaking yourself when just seating beside him gives you butterflies in the stomach.

Cautiously, you caress his cheek with the back of your hand, wiping away the tears, but at this, he throws his arms around you, burying his head in your chest, clenching at you.  
And it's just too much, you can't help it and bend to embrace him, nuzzling your face in his hair. Your hands are on his bare skin, soft and warm. Your head is spinning at this so long desired touch and your heart is racing.  
You know he's not for you, that it's not a lover embrace, but you just need to touch him, to feel him against you.  
He whispers "I can't do it, I just can't...how can one live when ignored by the very person he loves so much? Seeing him everyday is a torture and a blessing and I can't find the courage to go away..."  
Every word is a dagger in you, but still, you answer, lightly caressing his face with your fingertips  
"One day it'll come Grantaire, love can't be unrequited forever does it? I'm sure he will notice you one day, see how much you love him, how you're always here for him. Yes I'm sure he will."

You keep talking, meaningless words after another until Grantaire's breathe deepens and he falls asleep in your lap.  
Then, you lean your head against the wall and let your tears run down.


	3. Chapter 3

It's been two hours and Grantaire is still asleep in your lap. Your tears ran dry a while ago, and you take this time to just look at him, his gorgeous face, thin lips, and sparkling blue eyes.  
You run your fingers in his dark curls and let your fingertips wander on his back and neck. You know you shouldn't do this, but...you also know that you'll probably never have another occasion to do so...

After a while, the feelings threaten to suffocate you and you've got to let it out. You whisper in the dark room, everything that you always hold from him. "Grantaire, I don't care that you're a drunk or cynical. I see so much more in you, you're the sweetest man I ever met, and I have loved you for so long. Maybe even for the first time I saw you. You're blinded by your Apollo, but I live for the hope that one day you'll see who truly loves you around here, you'll see me, waiting for you."

Grantaire sighs heavily and opens his eyes. Your heart stops. " I heard you" he says, looking at you without really seeing you. You're frozen and don't even know what to say. He lifts his hand and caresses your cheek. But you don't even have the time to enjoy it that his arm comes down as he goes back to sleep.  
This is torture. Did he really hear you? Did he understood? What was this?  
All these questions haunt you during the night. You finally get some sleep in the morning, and quietly leave Grantaire's flat without waking him up.

When he arrives at the café around noon, he comes at you and whispers "Thank you for yesterday...again...I don't know what I'll do without you".  
You stare at him, trying to decide if he's serious or not. You have to ask. "Do you remember what happened tonight?" "No why? Should I?You were with me? Did I speak out loud again?". Your guts clench and you feel sick. "Never mind, it's nothing" you mutter as you go behind the counter. Grantaire gives you a interrogating look then joins the other in the back room.

Your fists are clenched on the table as you're trying to fight the nausea in your stomach and you jump when you hear Combeferre's voice in your back "He has no idea, does he?" You wipe a tear and face him "About what?" "Your feelings for him of course. I've noticed it for a while now. It's pretty obvious when you're not damn blinded by someone else." You grit your teeth and say nothing, because you fear you'll break into tears. He squeezes your hand in comfort and leaves.


	4. Chapter 4

You're in the Café, talking with Combeferre, when you hear a woman screaming outside.  
You both rush to the door, and see that she's being attacked by three gigantic men at the other end of the plaza. They're trying to rob her but she doesn't let go. In the meantime, Grantaire shows up from the street and runs into the fight. Brave but silly, he's immediately put on the floor by one of the man who knocks him out and begins to kick him in the chest.

Witnessing this, you run outside to help him, but Combeferre stops you, holding you tight. "NO! You're not strong enough, they'd kill you." And he shouts inside the café "COURF, ENJOLRAS! QUICK! Grantaire needs help!"  
The two boys come out instantly and run outside, followed by the others.  
You're struggling, trying to escape "Ferre, let me go! GRANTAIRE NOOOO!" You just saw the second man punching him in the face.

At that point, the boys join in the fight and a quick and violent battle begins. Outnumbered, the men retreat soon enough under the assault.  
Combeferre finally lets you go and you run to kneel beside Grantaire, who's laying on the floor, unconscious, his face covered with blood.  
Joly comes to examine him, and quickly reassures you. Nothing's broken, but he will need constant care for the next 48 hours, maybe more. You don't hesitate a second and tell him to bring the man to your place, that you'll take care of him.  
Combeferre and Courfeyrac (whose lip is bleeding) improvise a chair with their arms and carry R in your small apartment, not far from the Café.  
The rest of the boys return to the Café to take care of the victim and from what you can see, Feuilly has a black eye, and Enjolras's shirt is torn.  
The two carrier lay Grantaire on your bed and leave. Only Joly stays and asks you to fetch some water while he undresses his patient.  
When you come back in the room, you hardly suppress a cry: Grantaire's chest is badly bruised in so many places and he's bleeding from a cut on the leg. You let Joly handle those and carefully clean up his face. The blood comes from a wound on his head, who doesn't seem too deep, and also from his nose and lips which are all swollen from the blows.

Joly wraps his chest and legs in big bandages made out of an old dress of yours and disinfects the one on his head. Then he states "There is nothing more I can do right now, he needs to wake up to tell me if he has some wounds I can't see. In the meantime, he needs to rest. Can you look after him?" "Yes! Yes of course I can."  
"I knew you would, thank you Ariane". The way he says it makes you realize he knows too, and you blush.

You thank him, then come back to the bed and take Grantaire's hand "I'll take care of you, I promised" and kiss the back of his hand, divided between your fear for his health and the joy to have him all for yourself.


	5. Chapter 5

The few days that follow are probably the worst of your life. The man you love is not only wounded and in pain but also in withdrawal from alcohol..  
Joly comes the next morning and he diagnoses a torn muscle on R thigh and a concussion to the head. He will have to rest completely for two weeks. He insists on the last words, pushing on Grantaire's chest who's already trying to get up.  
"You, my friend, are gonna stay there with Ariane and not even say a word about it. Now LAY DOWN." Grantaire, who never saw Joly get so directive finally obey without making a fuss.

Discreetly, Joly takes you into the living-room. There, in a quiet voice, he warns you about the first signs of withdrawal he noticed in R's behavior. "Ariane, this could be his chance to get out of alcohol, but you have to help him. Don't let him drink, he needs to be sober at least for a few days and then he'll decide what to do with himself. It's gonna be hard, because he's gonna try everything to get what he needs."  
You clench your fists and decide that you'll make whatever it takes to make things work. You're terrified because it seems that you hold his life and future into your hands, but it gives you even more strength. If there is a tiny chance that future can be with you, you have to help him.

When you come back to Grantaire, he's looking at the ceiling, half awake and half asleep, sight hazy from the medicines. You seat on the bed and put a fresh towel and his forehead "Grantaire, can you hear me? How do you feel?" "As if a whole barricade has fallen on me...my head aches, my leg too, and my thoughts are blurry."  
"Sleep now, it'll be better when you wake up". He closes his eyes and you give him a slight kiss on forehead.

A few hours later, you're in the living room when you hear a scream. You run into the bedroom and find him struggling with the covers, all sweaty and shaking. When he notices you, he try to say something but it comes out messy. "Wine...Ariane...need brandy...now...please" his tone is pleading and he seems so desperate. But you lock your heart and stay firm. "No Grantaire, there is no alcohol in here. And even if there was, you're under medication now, you can't drink".  
His gaze is wild and a bit crazy. "No, don't do that to me, I NEED some WINE! NOW" and at these words, he tries to get up but leans on his injured legs and falls off the bed.  
You rush towards him and help him back on it. He struggles and try to escape, but he's weak and shaky, and you have no problem to force him back into bed.  
The moment you finally relax though, he seats up again, and you have to get above him and push with your whole body to take control over him, clutching his wrists in your hands, beside his head.  
Your two bodies are now in full contact and you try no to let this idea distract you. He's calming down and as you whisper some comforting words, he goes back to sleep.  
You stay a while like this, not wanting to leave his warmth but you get up eventually and seat on the bed. You're shaking too, from the violence of the scene and you laugh at yourself "Living the lover's dream aren't you girl?"

At the end of the day, Joly comes to check on his patient and help him to bathe. Courfeyrac and Enjolras visit too. The first is joyful and speaks continuously, teasing Grantaire or commenting on your apartment. Enjolras is silent and stiff, leaning on the bedroom door. Just before they leave, he goes to Grantaire and holds out his hand saying "My friend, you did well, that was very courageous of you. You should know the lady is safe now and she thanks you for your gesture." Grantaire, takes the leader's hand, uncertain about the whole official thing "eeer, thank you, I guess. Mind you, if I had known the consequences at that time, I might have refrained my bravery." And he has a brief laugh as Enjolras frowns. He never knows what to think about Grantaire's humor, was he serious or not?

The visit gives Grantaire some strengths and he's quiet for about an hour. But then, the symptoms start again, and it lasts for about the whole night. You try your best to relieve his pain but it doesn't seem to work so much. He's burning from the inside, the withdrawal turning blood into flames. He's screaming, whining, and having convulsions that you're having a hard time to control.

With the first glimmer of dawn, he finally falls asleep, and you collapse on the bed beside him, drowning yourself into a well-deserved sleep.


	6. Chapter 6

Grantaire has been living with you for the last ten days, and everything is smoother now . After a few very hard days, he finally got rid of all the alcohol in his system and is now totally sober. It has been a struggle of will power between you and him, but you won. And you dare say he seems happy about it now.  
After a few days, you have to go back to work at the Café but you come to check on him at every break and often find him watching by the window, or peacefully sleeping.

One morning, you wake up slowly, keeping your eyes closed, letting your awareness rise little by little. You feel good. There is something soft and warm under your cheek...ha yes, it's skin. A warm skin. And your arm is resting on a chest too. You can feel the breathing.

In the haze of sleep, you stay like this, not even knowing where you are. When suddenly, consciousness hits you. Hard. And you freak out. Grantaire! It's Grantaire! In your bed, and you're cuddled up against him. Ok that's not good. Let's see, maybe he didn't notice? Maybe he's still asleep?

Without moving, you open your eyes slowly and look up. And you freeze. Grantaire is fully awake, and your gazes meet. Instantly, you move away from him, blushing and muttering apologizes.  
He smiles and interrupts you, with a soft voice "It's ok Ariane, don't worry about it, I really don't mind."

You seat in the bed, still a bit shaking from the shock. He lifts his hand and draws small circles softly on your back, without even realizing that his touch sends shivers in your whole body. If only this moment could live forever...his presence, his touch, just you and him, alone.

But a knock on the door breaks the bubble and you get up quickly.  
It's Joly who comes to check on his patient, accompanied by Courfeyrac.  
The injury on R's thigh heals well, but he still needs some rest. As every day, Joly congratulates him at yet another victory on brandy and it seems that Grantaire beams a little with pride.

Courfeyrac comes every two days, and he's always fun to have around. He tells Grantaire the news about the others Amis, the progress of Enjolras's plans and of course extravagant stories about his own conquests. Always numerous, of course and that neither of you truly believe.

Today, when you come back, you find Grantaire pacing angrily in the living-room. He seems grumpy, ill-tempered. You come closer and put your hand on his arms, asking how he feels, but he removes it abruptly, and snaps "oh yes, very well, stucked in that tiny flat for 10 days! Never better really!".

You take a step back, deeply hurt and surprised. There's a heavy stone in your stomach and you feel yours eyes filling with tears. You can't even help it. You're not the crying type, usually walking strongly through life, but when it comes to Grantaire, you're lost, as if he was stripping you to the bone, leaving you weak and helpless.

What you're thinking must be showing on your face, because when he turns to you, he freezes and his eyes widen.  
"Oh god Ariane, I'm so sorry. I could slap myself right now. I talked without thinking. I'm getting crazy in here, but it's not your fault. You've been...I mean, I can't even thank you enough for what you're doing for me. You're perfect and I'm sorry for being such an ass." He tells you that with a very soft voice, and as he comes closer to you, and takes your hands in his to apologize again, you feel you chest tightening as if words were going to spill out of your mouth. There's so many things you want to tell him...and yet the thought of Enjolras stops you once again and you close your lips.  
He stares at you for a bit, as if knowing there is something more but you stay silent and he lets go of your hands, brushing his thumb across your cheek.

Later that night, you're both laying on the bed, silently gazing at the ceiling, when he starts talking in a low, husky voice. You don't move a finger, as you know him enough now to appreciate these rare moments when he confides to you.  
He talks about his parents, his father's expectations for him, how he's never been interested in the family business, and the crisis that followed. His absent and indifferent mother that never seemed to love him.  
He ends by turning on his side to face you, an arm tucked under his head. "And I don't even know why I'm telling you this." You smile slowly. "Maybe because you know that we have the same history. People like us always recognize each other." "Tell me your story then?"  
You sigh softly, looking back at the ceiling "What can I say? It's so common yet it's never simple when it comes to you. Happy childhood, the feeling that nothing can ever go wrong. Except one day it does. My parents split up, my father fell into depression, and being an only child I got to handle this on my own, getting a few scars in the battle. As soon as each of them got better I ran from this mess and came to Paris. And here I am."  
Grantaire stays silent for a long time, staring at you but you cannot resolve to look at him, uncertain of yourself right now. Five years later, and you still can't speak about it without flinching.

You must have dozed a bit, because the next thing you know is that Grantaire is close to you, his face curled into your shoulder and his arms folded against yours. You stay very still and only turn your head, so your mouth is in his hair, and you breathe in his smell.  
What are you going to do when he's better and able to go back to his own apartment?


	7. Chapter 7

It's the last day Grantaire is spending with you as Joly came by this morning and stated that his patient was perfectly well. You asked Grantaire to wait until tomorrow, so you can both have a last evening together and he gladly accepted. The whole day, you can feel a weight on your heart as you realize the dream is nearly over. Grantaire is gonna leave, and everything will come back as it was before...He will be nice to you all right, but you'll still have to watch him fall head over heels with Enjolras in front of you...You honestly don't know how you'll live with it. Maybe you should leave Paris?

These gloomy thoughts in mind, you come home and try to think about the nice evening you're about to spend with him. But when you push the door, your chest tightens like never before. There's Enjolras in your room, seated on a chair beside the bed, talking to Grantaire. When they hear the door, silence falls and Enjolras gets up really quick, nearly knocking the chair over.

You greet him with a smile you hope is not too nervous. He smiles back at you, and says he's leaving. He turns to Grantaire and hold out his hand, quite solemnly. You look at R for the first time since you entered the room, and immediately notice a deep emotion on his face. He takes Enjolras's hand in his, and covers it whit his other hand. He keeps it that way for a few second, and then says in a low voice "Thank you, Enjolras, thank you so much." The leader nods and leaves.

You don't say anything, and an awkward silence falls. Grantaire is struggling with unknown emotions, and your thoughts are running like mad. What just happened between them? What was the meaning of R's gratitude? Why does he look so shattered right now?

You leave the room to give him some privacy, and he joins you a few minutes later, not commenting on anything, and actually acting as if nothing happened. You try to repress your anxiety and decide to make the most of this last evening.

You cook diner for the two of you, and start to speak about books. Grantaire read almost your entire bookshelf while he was recovering, and this became your favorite debate subject. Today is about Rousseau, and you spend hours talking about his work, ideas, and debating about his unusual life choices to say the least.

The night finds you two on the couch. You're seated, legs tucked under your tights and Grantaire head resting on your lap. After a passionate inner debate, you finally found the courage to brush your fingers in his hair and he seems to enjoy it. Like a cat, the caress appears to relax him, and soon enough, his eyes flutter and his breathing deepens.

You cannot stop, it's just too good. His hair are soft, and you tangled your fingers in his curls. He looks so beautiful like this, entirely peaceful, his mouth slightly opened, those lips that you would like to kiss...Hypnotized, you begin to lean toward him...you're now so close that you can feel his breath on your lips and it's intoxicating. You're about to close the space between you two when Enjolras's image pops into your mind and you seat back again, a hand on your mouth, struggling to breathe, and scolding yourself violently. You nearly ruined everything between you two! What would have been his reaction at your kiss? He who loves someone else? He would have been angry with you, that's all!

Your sudden movement awakes Grantaire and he gives you an interrogating look when he notices your flushed cheeks. You invent a lie about the room being to hot, and get up abruptly, nearly knocking him down the sofa.

That night, you fall asleep with your back to him, not wanting to take any chances, and wiping away your tears with anger. Maybe it's for the best that he's leaving tomorrow. At least, you won't have to live this permanent torture every day.


	8. Chapter 8

Your first thought when you open your eyes is that it's today. Today the dream ends. Today the man you love is leaving to go back to his life. And a big hole grows in your chest.

You turn to see if he's awake and your eyes meet. "Hello Ariane (How you love when he says your name), so this is it eh? I'm finally relieving you from my presence haha!" he says with an apologetic smile. You resist the urge to run into his arms and laughs a little laugh "Don't mention it!".

You both get up and get ready. And in the blink of an eye, he has packed his stuff and he's standing in front of the door, looking at you.

You're doing a great job holding back your tears and smile to him "Well, I'll see you at the Café then?" and he looks at you and laughs "Are you kidding? You're not even giving a kiss to your roommate? Come here". And before you can make a move, he drags you into a full body hug.

You can't even move at first, too surprised, but then you burry your face in his shoulder and hold him tight too. You breathe in his smell for the last time, clinging to him.

After a few minutes, he steps away and still holding your shoulders, leans towards you and kisses you on the cheek, just at the corner of your mouth, and whispers in your ears "Thank you so much Ariane, from the bottom of my heart..." and with this, he's gone.

You stand there for a while, not moving, and then you brush your cheek at the spot he kissed. What was this? Was it a kiss? No, you're only friends. But are you? Do friends kiss each other like this?

Your heart is racing and you're trying to calm yourself, telling yourself that he just slipped.

You take your coat and go to the Café, your head still spinning with questions. The others boys come and greet you, and finally, around noon, Grantaire shows up. He passes in front of the counter, and winks to you before entering the back room. You can hear cheers and clapping when he crosses the threshold and he laughs from his big barking laugh that you love so much.

He then surprises you by coming back and dragging you in the room with the room with him. He takes you by the shoulders and tells the others "Please, also clap for this wonderful girl without whom I would not even be there! She cared for me during those two weeks, putting up with me even in the darkest moments...She's my guardian angel truly." he turns to you and takes your hand and thanks you again, looking straight at you, telling you even more with his eyes.

You can't even breathe anymore, chocking down with too much feelings, your cheeks flustered, your hands shaking inside his. Everyone cheer at you, and they all come to hug you, and suddenly you realize just how much you love them all. Your barricade boys. Your big dreamers, wishing they could change the world for a better future for everyone. Risking their life without no one even thanking them. It's just too much, and you start to cry of both joy and sadness, and everyone hug you even more.

That was a very special day.


	9. Chapter 9

9/

A few days passed since Grantaire left your apartment and the everyday routine has soon taken his place again.

The first night, you barely sleep, lost in your own bed, missing the warmth of his body beside you.

The next days, your habit of watching him from afar comes back. This is a busy week for Les Amis, as they have a few meetings to organize, and they spend all their time in the back room, debating on the best speech to give, or the best place to run the event. The only times you're allowed to come in is when you bring them food or drink.

Grantaire though, has changed a bit since the incident. First, he's more committed to the Revolution. Less cynical comments and more helpful observations...Even Enjolras noticed it, and complimented him a few times.

The other change, is that he comes to talk to you more often now. When the debates take too much time, or just when he fancies it, he leaves the room and comes to seat with you while you're working. You love those small, intimate moments, where you can almost find back what you had when he was living with you.

He laughs with you, he smiles at you and sometimes, you catch his gaze on you. And the same questions toss and turn in your head. Is it just you? Or did something change in him?

It's during one of these moments that a boy comes to bring you a letter. You open it and after only reading a few lines, you reach for a chair and fall down on it. Grantaire rushes towards you as your face goes white. He brings you a glass of water and asks what's wrong.

The letter is from your mother, to tell you that your little sister is hill and that she asked for you. He reads it and says "Well, that's obvious, you have to go and visit them at once." "Yes, I know, but it's not that simple, they live far away from Paris, near Orléans, it's a two days ride and I have no money to pay for a diligence nor a night in"

Grantaire gets up and looks thoughtful for a moment. Then, excited all of a sudden, he kneels in front of you and says "Look, I know Orléans, because my parents leave nearby. My sister has been bugging me to visit for months now. I could take you to see your sister, and we could sleep at my parents's house for the night? What do you say?"

You look at him, eyes wide, a bit horrified by what he's offering. It's too much, why would he do this for you? Out of pity?

You square your shoulders and answer coldly "I don't need charity Grantaire, I will save money for the trip and go visit my sister when I can." And at this, he bursts into laughter. His reaction is so unpredictable that you go to pieces. He looks at you straight in the eyes and answers "Ariane, you really think that I'm doing this for charity? Well I'm not, I just want to help you the way you helped me when I needed it. I always wondered how I could give back what you gave me and here is the opportunity. Please, let me help you and your family" and at these last words, he takes your hands into his and squeezes them gently...And you melt, of course, and nod in acceptance.

He jumps on his feet with a big smile and begins to talk to himself, already taking care of the small details of your travel. You let him do, your head a bit spinning when you finally realize what is waiting for you: two or three days, out of Paris, with Grantaire...meeting his parents? Gosh! You feel both terrified and excited at this and you feel that tomorrow can't come soon enough.


	10. Chapter 10

10/

The next day, you meet Grantaire at the coach station. He looks really pleased that you came (as if he had been doubting it maybe?), helps you on the diligence and take care of your small luggage.

You're both set in a few minutes and he gives the signal to the driver. That's when you realize he actually reserved the diligence just for the two of you. You're about to protest about it when he cuts you with a "don't even think about it"...and you close your mouth, knowing that there's no need to argue with him.

The ride takes all day, and it could be long if you were by yourself, but in that case, being locked up in a small space with Grantaire is more like your very definition of Heaven.

You prepared a picnic for lunch and both eat in the coach, trying no to spill everything on the floor because of the bumps on the road. Grantaire compliments you on the food and you blush a bit.

You begin to talk about yourself, and he asks you questions about your childhood, and you find yourself confiding things to him that you've never told anyone before...but you trust him so completely that it doesn't seem wrong.

The end of the ride finds you curled up against each other, reading in a conniving silence. When the diligence stops, he starts and bit and says in a hurried voice "Already? Shout! I thought I had time...listen, my parents are not exactly the welcoming type, so don't get hurt by anything they could say or do. And I told them that..." But he's interrupted by the carriage door opening and a butler face appearing. "Monsieur, Madame, if you please..." and he holds out his hand for you to get out.

You barely manage to suppress a scream when you finally take a look at the house. Or should you say, the castle? It's huge, with two wings, an immense porch in front of it, and a gorgeous park all around. You mouth must be gaping a bit cause you hear Grantaire letting out a small laugh. "Yes...welcome home!"

You're approaching the house when a young lady bursts out of it, followed by two austere figures. She runs towards Grantaire, screaming, jumps in his arms and makes her fly around as she laughs happily. She can be 15 or 16, dark haired like her brother but with a darker complexion.

When he puts her down, she takes your hands and says "so Ariane, that's you! I'm so glad we meet at last! And I have to thank you again for what you did for my brother, you saved his life!". You turn red and mutter something that must sound like "What? Uh no, I..Yes, Hello, well..." when the parents interrupt you.

"Hello Grantaire. How sober you look for once, isn't this a miracle? And who is the young lady accompanying?" his father says in a haughty voice. Your guts hurt to hear someone talk like this but you manage to refrain yourself, as Grantaire, a bit red, takes your arm and answers "Yes, good to see you too father. As for this young lady, she's Ariane, my wife."

At these words, you feel your knees giving way, and it's lucky that Grantaire's holding you or you would have collapsed on the alley. You have enough common sense to say nothing and smile, but your brain is boiling and you feel very hot inside. What was that ABOUT?

Grantaire squeezes your arm gently as you walk to the house and you put your hand on his to reassure him. You don't know why he lied, but it must be important, and you won't embarrass him in front of his parents.

You barely have time to look around that diner is already served and you're all invited to seat in the dining-room...which could contain at least 10 time your apartment.

Grantaire's parents are as he described them to you. Cold, reserved and pedantic. And talking badly about their older sons seems to be their favorite distraction. The later is seating in front of you, trying to answer at best to his father's questions, who always finds a way to turn what he says against him.

They absolutely pay no attention to you (for which you're grateful) until the mother asks how you two ended married. Grantaire tells how you helped him recover from an aggression, to which his father answers with a cold laugh "Ha! I supposed that you had passed out from alcohol in the street and get robbed?"

And that's it. You just can't take it anymore. You put your fork in your plates with a distinctive noise and say, in a low voice, full of contained anger. "No, he wasn't drunk. He actually got beaten while trying to rescue a girl who was being robbed. And she walked out of there safe thanks to him. He saved her life this day. Show him some respect." A heavy silence falls on the table. Grantaire looks at you with wide eyes and...yes, gratitude. His sister is chocking on her soup, the mother's pressing a hand in front of her mouth, and the father looks at you, deadly serious. "You speak you mind very openly for a young lady" and you're about to answer when he continues with a honeyed voice "Thank you for proving that someone at least finds something useful in my good for nothing son." That last blow is even worse than the rest, and you get up abruptly from the table and leave the dining room.

A few minutes later, Grantaire joins you outside and holds you in his arms silently for a full body hug. Neither of you say anything until the butler comes to show you to the bedroom. And yes, of course, the bedroom. Singular. You're supposed to be married, you remember when you come in and notice the single kingsized bed. Ha. Well, it won't be the first time, isn't it?


	11. Chapter 11

11/

You're both in bed now, laying on your backs, silently. You're not really sure if it's a conniving silence, or an awkward one actually. Maybe he doesn't care? Well YOU do...Your heart is racing a bit and your palms are sweaty. How come you are in bed with the man you love AGAIN? This tends to repeat itself a tad too much these days. Not that you're complaining, but it puts your self-control to the test and it's exhausting.

You're deep in these thoughts when you hear Grantaire's laugh. Intrigued, you look at him and he says "Well, we're in bed together again, but this time I'm not even hurt, or drunk, or about to die. Isn't it an enjoyable change?" You laugh with him and rejoice secretly that he IS thinking about it after all.

The silence comes back but you know now that it's comfortable and let it grow. Enventually, a question pops in your mind, and you turn it into your head before asking out loud, not wanting to hurt him. "So, Taire...Were your parents always like this?" He doesn't answer for a long moment, and you wonder if you crossed a line that you shouldn't have, of if he's trying to remember something.

After a while, he speaks in a voice that he wants detached, but you can hear his clenched throat.

"As I told you before, my father wanted me to follow his steps into the lawyer firm that he owned. He had always choose this path for me, and I've heard him talk about it since my childhood. But I never liked law. And as soon as I turned 18, I told him straight to his face." He has a small laugh at the memory. "That might not have been my best move. I was harsh and pretentious. And well...you see how he gets. So I did the only thing I thought possible then: I ran. I took all the money I had put aside, took the coach to Paris and settled there. Ran away from those people who never seemed to care for me, far more interested by their social life than their kids.

But Paris was nothing but smoke and mirrors. Life is very expensive there as you know, and my little savings didn't last a month. But I was too proud to go back home, and I ended up on the street." He pauses again, as if suffocated by the bad memories. "When you're homeless, desperation is quick to come, and even more in Paris, where the poor are so many. I was cold, and lonely, and I did what everyone was doing, I started drinking. For the company, for the warmth at night, for the delicious oblivion brought to you for a few hours whenyou can forget the pain, and the shame.

I lived like that for a few weeks, and I was about to give up when Courfeyrac found me. He grabbed my hand that night on this bridge, rescuing me from the void. He took me with him, and patched me the best he could. He introduced me to his friends and that's when I met Enjolras." The fondness in his voice when he pronounces the name is a knife in your heart. You had almost forgot how it hurt. " He shone above me like the sun, and dispelled the darkness around me. I had finally found something to believe in, a goal and a raison d'être. Courfeyrac helped me to find a job and things were getting better slowly...Except for my drinking problem that I couldn't let go. It was still a way to escape reality when it was too hard." He stops and turns his head to look at you.

"Well...you witnessed that. And helped me many times in those shameful moments. And you actually did much more for me. You dragged me out of this. You succeeded where all the boys had failed. You made me quit the drinking...thanks to your obstinacy. Which I must say, is even worse than mine." At this, you laugh and try to act casually, and not listen to your heart pounding in your chest at what he just said.

"And for that, I will never thank you enough" with these words, he stretches his arm and cups your face into his large hand, brushing your cheek with his thumb. You can't help but close your eyes and lean in the touch for a while.

And suddenly he's all around you. He closed the gap between you two, and took you in his arms. You're not even sure about what happened, that you're really both laying on your sides, legs entangled, his arms holding you close. His chin is resting on your head, and your face is in his chest. Your brain is dead and you let your instinct guide you. You pass your arms around his waist and nuzzled a bit more in his chest, breathing in his smell, closing your eyes, and wishing that he won't let you go too soon.

He doesn't though, but instead, whispers again "Thank you, Ariane, for everything that you did for me. You saved me, in so many ways."

You're unable to say anything and you just nod as he lightly kisses your hair.


	12. Chapter 12

12/

An hour later, you're still in Grantaire's arm as he didn't let go of you. You don't want to break the spell, but there's a question burning inside your mind and you can't resist any longer. "Grantaire, why did you tell your parents I was your wife?" He lets out a small laugh "I was wondering how long it would take you to ask about this. I'm sorry if I embarrassed you with this, I hadn't planed it actually, but when I saw my parents, how they looked at me, and at YOU. I couldn't let them insinuate things about us or how I am taking advantage of you in any ways, being a good-for-nothing...or anything they can come up to to hurt people. I knew it would hurt you too, so I chose the only way to make them shut their trap. And again, I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable."

You can't help but feel a bit disappointed. So it was only for this...Well, what did you expect young lady? You scold yourself in thoughts. "It's ok, don't worry about it" you say out loud, voice a bit weaker that you would have wanted.

Soon after this, you both fall asleep, bodies still entangled.

Next morning, you're awakened by the sunlight on your face. You're a bit lost for a few minutes then everything comes back to you and you cast a glance above your shoulder. Grantaire is still asleep, looking beautiful and peaceful. If your sister wasn't waiting for you, you swear you could spend the day watching him moves awake him and he stretches like a cat before ruffling your hair with a smile. You could eat him when he does things like this.

You both get dressed and down the stairs for breakfast. The table is dressed again in the huge living-room and covered with bread, jams, fruits, even ham and cheese! The welcome you get from his parents is colder than ice...Apparently your outburst from yesterday has not been forgiven. Well you don't give a damn about it. And even less since what Grantaire told you about them the night before. Let them choke on their tea for that matter.

You eat silently, and then go back into the room to gather your package. When you go out of the house, the carriage is waiting but none of the parents are here, only Grantaire's sister came to say goodbye. She holds you in her arms, a little bit longer that she needs to, and whispers at your ear "Take care of him, please." You nod at her and get in the coach while she hugs her brother.

You feel as if you're breathing again when the diligence leaves the beautiful tree alley. You really didn't like it here: the house is as cold as its inhabitants, no wonder that Grantaire ran away at the first occasion. He is now seated in front of you and he smiles as if he read your thoughts "Well, that went well, trust me. I'm glad this is over though..." and he makes a face, rolling his eyes.

Your sister's house is not a long way from there, and you arrive two hours later.

The house is as you remembered it and it smells like bread, exactly like when you were a kid. Your stomach makes an awkward jolt when all the memories hit at once. How you loved living here in those happy days...You shake your head as you see your mother coming along to greet you.

You hug her tenderly and introduce Grantaire. "He's a friend who's been helping me for the travel." She smiles at him and invite the both of you inside.

You don't loose time and ask directly about your sister. Your mother's face darkens immediately and you fear that you've arrived too late. "She's alive, but barely. I don't know what's happening and I can't..." she doesn't finish the sentence but you both understand. She can't take her to the hospital because she doesn't have enough money. And the only convent that could take care of her is miles away, and Carine is probably too weak to make the journey. You grit your teeth at this injustice.

Grantaire and you go into your sister's room and your heart breaks a little when you see her. She looks like a skeleton, so pale, all sweaty from the fever and with a bad cough. Grantaire's eyes widen at this and he cannot utter a word for a few minutes. But then, he takes your arm and whispers "We cannot leave her like this, she's gonna die Ariane." "Yes, I know, but what can I do? I don't have money, nor does my mother and I..." He interrupts you before you can say anything else "I do. Have money. Let me help her." Your mouth gaps "No. absolutely not. You already did too much for this. I won't ever be able to repay you even in thirty years. Forget about this."

His gaze darkens, and he takes you by the shoulders "Ariane, I don't care about repayment. Your sister is dying, do you really think that now is a good time for misplaced pride? If I don't use my money to help those I love, then what's its use?" and without giving you time to protest any further, he lifts your sister in his arms, as he would a feather.

So many thoughts are rushing in your head, but you put them aside and rush after him. Your mother gasps when he enters the kitchen, but understands immediately and opens the front door. The four of you cross the whole village like this, as you can see neighbors peeking at their windows.

A few minutes later, you arrive at the hospital and Grantaire lay Carine down a bed and leave her in nurse's care. He talks to the hospital administration while you and your mother wait outside in silence. When he comes out, he announces that he paid the bed for a month and that you shouldn't have anymore expenses to worry about.

Your speechless as his amazing generosity but your mother speaks for the both of you. She takes him into his arms and cry on his shoulder, thanking him over and over again. And when she finally lets him breathe, she turns to you to says out loud "That's a very fine gentleman you find there my girl, no wonder you're in love with him." Your mouth gaps a bit at this and you turn red as a beet. You take his arm, avoiding Grantaire's look and the three of you go back home in an awkward silence.


	13. Chapter 13

13/

The dinner is slightly different from the day before. The three of you prepare it together, and at this occasion, Grantaire surprises you by showing very good skills at cooking. Your mother seems impressed too, but she doesn't make any comment when she notices the warning look in your eyes. The food is delicious, the evening is peaceful, and you finally begin to relax because everything seems taken care of.

After dinner, you ask Grantaire if he wants to go for a walk outside and as he nods, you take him with you to the places of your childhood. There's a wood behind the house where you used to spend all your afternoons, and going back there, you find all the spots that you loved, where you played or hid.

Eventually, you arrive at your secret place and make him close his eyes to enter it. He smiles at this but do as he's told and you take his hand to guide him under the trees and rocks. When you reach it, he opens his eyes and can't suppress a small cry of surprise. You're both seating on the edge of a cliff, with the whole valley unfolding at your feet, and in the back a beautiful sunset that colors the sky in shades of red, yellow and purple.

He stays silent for a bit and then takes back you hand as you explain that you used to come here every afternoon, spending your time reading books or simply gazing at the sky. "It's breathtaking really. I can see why you love this place so much." and nothing more needs to be said. You put your head on his shoulder and the two of you watch the sun go down until the night covers you.

When you come back home, your mother has made Carine's room available for Grantaire, and he bids you good night with a slightly disappointed smile. You're annoyed too, because you'll have to sleep in your own small room. But here, you're not married. And there is no way your mother would let you share a bed.

You toss and turn for hours, the events of these two days tumbling out in your mind. Is this just you imagining stuff? Or is he closer to you than ever? Is this friendship? Does he do this as a repayment for the way you helped him?

Every time you want to believe that there's something more behind the way he acts, your logical mind blows everything away, and reminds you of Enjolras. What about him? Grantaire's been in love with him for so long! Do you really think you could take his place just like this?

Yes but the hugs, holding hands, everything?...It's too much to handle, and you burry your face in the pillows, groaning in sheer frustration at all this nonsense. You finally fall asleep at daybreak and it's your mother who wakes you up a few hours later.

You decided with Grantaire that you would leave very early, and make the whole journey in one day, to avoid having to sleep in an inn, or worse, at his parent's place again. Considering the face he's pulling this morning, you wonder if he had troubles sleeping too.

After a substantial breakfast, you bid your mother goodbye and she embarrasses you one more time by hugging him tightly and thanking him over and over for what he did for Carine...and for you. You get up in the carriage to escape another scene and are soon joined by Grantaire, who smiles at you mischievously. "Oh shut up you!" "But I didn't say anything!" "Not yet, but I know you, you were about to make a comment." "Cross my heart, I wasn't!" and on these words, you leave your village again, to go back to Paris.

The journey takes the whole day, but once again, time seems to fly when you're with him, and it's the sound of the wheels resonating on the pavement that tells you you entered Paris.

The carriage takes you home first, and Grantaire helps you down.

You're on the doorstep, your bag at your feet and he's standing in front of you. The silence is growing, only troubled by the noise of the horses waiting for him.

It looks like he's about to say something. Twice he opens his mouth, and you feel your gut tighten but then he seems to change his mind and leans towards you to give you a kiss on the cheek "I'll see you tomorrow at the Café then?" "Yes...Yes of course. Thank you again Grantaire. Have a good night." and with that he leaves you, waving one last time from inside the coach.

You close the door, press your forehead on the wooden panel and sigh. Why good times with him always seems to be fading too fast? You're not interested to go back to reality.


	14. Chapter 14

14/

When you open your eyes this morning, it takes a tiny bit for you to remember where you are, and what happened. And when it comes down on you, you take a moment to analyze the whole situation. Well, time passed since that night when you slept in Grantaire's bed to comfort him. Time and feelings. You obviously got closer to each other, thanks to his injury and the trip to your house. Your feelings towards him are the same as ever, but what about his? Does he see you as a friend? A best friend? A girl to whom he owned a debt he now payed?

Unable to stay in bed longer with these unsolvable questions, you get up and go to the Café. One by one, the boys arrive and greet you, all happy to see you again after those two days. They've become really found of you that lot, and they're friends now more than customers.

As usual, Grantaire comes last, still all disheveled from sleep, his curls wild around his head, and you can't help but bite your lips as he appears, resisting the urge to run into his arms.

He comes to you with a smile and gives you a kiss on the cheek, that makes your stomach jolt a bit.

"Tonight, when you're done, I would like to show you something. Are you free?" You cast an interrogating look at him but he just smiles some more as you nod in acceptance.

The day feels longer than usual, and you just cannot wait for the evening to come. A few times during the day, you try to worm out information from Grantaire but he keeps avoiding answers, and even Courfeyrac won't tell you anything. And when you threaten not to give him his coffee, he takes you by the waist and plant a kiss on your cheek with a mischievous smile, and you have no other choice than to comply. "Choke on it, you conspirator" you say with a laugh.

Finally, the last customers leave the Café and Grantaire is the only one to stay. He waits until you've closed the door and then offers you his arm. You take it, your heart beating a little faster already.

Without saying anything, he begins to walk through the streets, then out of Paris. It's dark now but you know more or less where you are: near the fields outside Paris. Grantaire is still silent and you've given up asking questions.

The path is going up slowly, and become more and more steep and stony.

After half an hour of ascension, you reach a meadow, covered with lush grass and a few trees in the back. Grantaire walks straight to those trees and stops in front of them. "Now, close your eyes." You frown a bit but do as told and he then takes your hand to guide you under the trees and a few step more.

"Open now." You do, and it's your turn to gasp a little. Underneath you is Paris, in all his shining beauty, the lights of the night spreading to the horizon. It's stunning.

Grantaire speaks in a low voice " I use to come here often when I was...alone. When my situation was too unbearable, I would climb here and watch Paris teeming with life while I was drifting away from mine. It's not as peaceful as your valley, but you show me your special place and I wanted to show you mine."

"Thank you, Grantaire, that's really, really beautiful. I hope I can come back someday...with you?"

At your question, he takes your hands and holds them into his. "Listen, Ariane. There is something I've been wanting to tell you, but never found the right moment. You know how I feel about Enjolras...or should I say how I felt about him...Remember when you find him talking to me when I was at your place?" You nod slightly, your throat to tight to talk

"Well I asked him to come...to say goodbye. Not that I'm leaving, but...I know a lost cause when I see one, and those nights without brandy actually helped me to see the truth. Enjolras will never be mine. I had to accept it. And I told him just that. He was embarrassed at first, but then he felt relieved and we talked about it freely. It was...a relief for me too actually.

But it's not only the lack of brandy that casted doubts about him. It was also that for the first time in my life, I had someone who took care of me, who didn't judge me for my pitiful actions, who helped me without even waiting something in return. And it changed me, maybe as completely as alcohol did before."

He swallows and move his hands to cup your cheeks. "Ariane, you were the one to do this miracle. You were the one to change me. Only you could see behind what I had become. And during these days with you, I came to wish that they would last forever...because I love you Ariane, and I hope you do too."

Hearing those words is more than you can handle, and you let tears of joy run down your cheek as you smile and nod, completely unable to speak. He smiles at you "I'll take that two unrequited loves came to an end then." And he leans towards you and slowly kiss your lips. It feels like you're gonna drown in him. It must be what people lost in the desert feel when they find water. Those lips that you've wanted so much to kiss are now on yours and it feels like the world is reborn. You put your arms around him and pull him closer, deepening the kiss.

And in this moment, all the suffering, all the pain just vanish to be replaced by love and crazy hopes for the future. Your shared future.


	15. Epilogue

EPILOGUE

The day after your first kiss, you wait until Grantaire comes in the Café, and take his hand as you both go to the back room.  
No one pays attention until Grantaire clears his throat loudly. Everyone turn to you and silence fall, until he raises both of your arms to show your entwined fingers.  
Courfeyrac jumps on his feet and rush to you, hugging you and giving a tap on Grantaire's shoulder. Combeferre hugs you first and winks at you, without further comment. Jehan smiles and then points a finger at Grantaire, deadly serious "You, you take care of her, or you will answer to me." Grantaire gulps as his eyes grow wider "oh...ok. Sure mon ami, I will!"  
Enjolras doesn't get up, but Grantaire and him share a look, and then he nods, the ghost of a smile lingering on his lips.  
And with this, you become part of the Amis, even more that you were before.

Within a week, Grantaire has moved his belongings from Courfeyrac's place to yours. He does not own much: a few books and clothes. And as he likes to point out: "Who needs things when I got you?" "Grantaire, you're being cheesy there" "Sorryyy!". You love your life together, everything is smooth and you get along very well.

About a month later, you get a letter from your sister Carine. She's much better now, out of the hospital and back home. She doesn't remember much of her illness, except being carried in the arms of an handsome prince. You pout when you read this "Well she's gonna need some clarifications on who's belong to who now" as R snorts about being called a prince. The next day, Grantaire comes home with a letter from Louise, his sister. "I think I finally managed to convince Zee to leave my parents house and come live in Paris. I'm pretty sure I could find her an honest job, and she would be out of this damned place."

"Well, our sisters could live together, what do you think? It would spare them money, and they would have someone to look after them. I know Carine, she gets along with everyone, I'm sure she would love that!'.

Grantaire agrees, and you both write to your siblings. A month later, everything is sorted, Carine and Louise live now in a flat close to yours and they're enjoying the parisian life.

Today is the 14th of July, and everyone went to the docks of the Seine to see the fireworks. The night is warm, and you're all seated on the pavement.

Eveyrone is there: Enjolras, Combeferre, Courfeyrac who's holding Jehan in his arms, Feuilly, Joly, Bossuet and Musichetta, Marius and Cosette, Bahorel and Eponine and little Gavroche. Even Carine and Louise came. You're seating in Grantaire's arms, your back resting on his chest, his arms passed around your shoulders.

As you look at them all, you feel as if you finally found your place in the world...and as the first firework explodes in the sky, you feel perfectly happy.


End file.
